My Hearth and Heart

Because my heart is always at home

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My Next Year Long Journey

Oh hi! Sorry about the long absence, life has just been, well… life.


I have been spending any possible free time I have with my boys. Hiking, road tripping, playing, running, you name it, we’ve done it the last few weeks of summer. And now that school is back in session, I have found myself diving head first into getting some clients, teaching classes, and gearing up for Lose It. But things have gotten into a routine, and now I find myself longing for a place to write out some things… so here we are.


This last year has been a whirlwind of excitement, growth, and change. Lots and lots of change. And while I’m so grateful for all the change in my life, I realize that I’m not done yet. I have had so many amazing conversations with dear friends about what losing a lot of weight DOES to you. How your whole life changes, not just the way you look. And while that part of it is exciting, and fun (hello, new wardrobe), and feels amazing… there are other things that you HAVE to change in order to not lose what you’ve worked so hard to achieve.


For me, and this may not be true for everyone (and that’s okay), it was about MORE than just the weight. I was MISERABLE. I didn’t like the person that stood in the mirror and stared at me every single morning. It wasn’t just about physical appearance, although that part needed to change too, it was more about the person that was feeling TRAPPED under that girl. The person that was in there that wanted to come out, the confident, self loving, able to actually care about other people, true me. Change didn’t just happen on the outside, it happened inside as well.


But it doesn’t happen when you’re feeling comfortable. Which is why I think a lot of people struggle with this particular battle. In order to make changes, BIG changes, you have to become vulnerable. You have to strip away everything you put out into the world that’s fake, and be real. You have to examine WHY you need to make those changes, the things about yourself that you hide from other people, and from yourself. What about those things don’t you like? Why do you want to change them?


I’m very much a Type A personality. I need control over everything in my life, I want it my way and I want it now. I am loud, dominant, passionate, and driven. I am competitive, impatient, and aggressive at times (well, I’m always competitive). I talk fast, I am always on a schedule, and often have high levels of anxiety. I am also VERY self critical, and am never completely satisfied with the things I accomplish. Or at least I WAS all those things….


As my journey has gone on, I have found that a lot of what was holding me back from achieving the things I wanted to were my own expectations. I expected my body to things right away, I expected my emotions to be kept in check because this was something *I* wanted. I expected to win every. single. round. of. Lose. It. (NEWS FLASH: I didn’t). What I didn’t expect was that in order to achieve the things I wanted to achieve, I had to give up control. I had to let someone else tell me everything was going to be okay, that I COULD do these things. I had to let someone else be in the driver’s seat for a little while. Not forever, but for long enough for me to feel confident that I COULD do it.



The same is true for me in the bigger picture of life as well. I have always had a really hard time believing that I WAS NOT in control of all the things going on around me. I’ve struggled most of my life with anxiety because I worry about what’s going to happen next, and whether or not I can control it. I have always believed that I make my own destiny, and my own path in life. And I still believe that to be true to a certain extent… but what if.


Faith is a interesting concept that has piqued my interest in the last year. The idea of God is an idea I am not unfamiliar with, but something I rejected for a LONG time. It has only been within the last year that I have found myself using the word “blessed” more than ever because I simply cannot come up with another way to describe what I feel. It’s a concept that I am dedicating the next year of my life exploring. I believe, in my heart, that most of what I rejected before was the fear of the idea that someone has more control than I do. And let me clarify that: I do not think that God sits up in heaven and plays us all like we are a giant video game. I will not be entertaining the idea that God is all controlling. That’s not what I mean.


What I mean is… what if there IS a plan for all of us? What IF our life’s work is already laid out before us, and we just have to decipher the map? What IF God really knows us all so individually that He created each of us for a purpose? Because I never would have gone on this journey had certain events in my life not happened the way they did. Events that I had NO control over. What I did was control the way I reacted to those events, which is free will at it’s finest, ladies and gents. And I truly believe I have found my purpose in this world. I don’t know how else I would have found it…


So. This is a scary thing for me to be doing. If you know my story AT ALL, or have read ANY of my past blog posts… you know how big this is. I am not saying that I am coming out the other side of this a super religious person, but I’m not saying I won’t either. What I’m saying is this: I am opening my heart and my mind to the possibility. And will take the next year of my life (starting today) to study, listen, learn, figure out what my own path is… because there are questions to be answered, and lessons to learn no matter what the outcome may be. I’m lucky to have people to walk this path with me, and who will answer my questions as I go along. I’m lucky to have friends who support me, no matter what I do. And family who goes “here she goes again… she’s makin things happen,” because they’ve been here before.


I will say that either way, I will come out the other side of this year different. And that’s never a bad thing. Because when you stop growing, when you stop learning, when you stop opening your heart up to new things (even those you may not agree with)… you stop living. I’m excited. I’m scared. But most of all, I’m eager to learn and to grow.


Also, I went to church twice in the last month and didn’t ignite into flames, so that’s a thing. (Don’t worry, I’m still funny)




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I Left You Hanging….

My apologies….


But most of you follow me other places, so you already know.


As of Thursday morning at 11:00 am, I am a Certified Personal Trainer.


That’s right. I got my results as soon as I pushed “submit” and I passed.


Then… I had a job interview last night at the gym that I am currently a member at.


This whole last year has been a crazy weird dream. I ran my first half marathon, I lost a bunch of weight, I became a personal trainer… and that’s just ┬áthe stuff that you can see on the outside. I feel like any minute I’m going to wake up and have to do all of that all over again. It’s very surreal.


I’m thrilled, I have worked really hard this last year, and it’s paying off. Not that there’s not more work to be done, but now it’s less books and more hands on learning. And I’m super excited about everything that’s to come. Stay tuned!!!

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Two Days

I am at Code Red today, people.


My test is in two days.


That’s right. Two days from now I will either be a certified personal trainer, or I will be hiding from everyone and everything I know, bawling my eyes out.


Either way, it’s stressful.


Everyone keeps telling me I will be fine. People who have been with me this whole journey are SO convinced that I’m going to pass this test. People who have just met me recently are SO sure I’m going to do great. I wish I had the confidence in me that they have.


It’s a thing though… Like, you WANT to do well. It’s peoples’ bodies that you’re messing with. Your whole JOB is to help people safely and effectively exercise. Whether it’s to lose weight, or maintain health, or train for an event. It’s your JOB to make sure they’re being safe, and that your programs work. So, I mean… no pressure or anything.


It’s fine. I’ve taken a ton of practice tests. So many that I find myself just clicking answers that aren’t the right ones because I’m reading through things too fast, and not thinking about what the question is actually saying. Yeah… I’m at THAT point.


It’s time for me to take a step back, breathe, and adjust. Review a little, get some things down, and just go do it. A friend of mine said to me last night “you just have to go DO it. Get in that mentality. It’s like going to a race… you just say to yourself ‘I’m just going for a run. No big deal.'”


Oh how true that is.


Two days…. stay tuned.

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Eggless Breakfast Is Here

Let’s talk breakfast!


I am in LOVE with breakfast. It wasn’t always that way… I used to be more of a brunch girl. I found it hard to get up in the morning and eat, it just wasn’t my thing. Daryl, on the other hand, is a TOTAL breakfast person. He cannot function without breakfast in the morning. So, I had to learn to be a breakfast person.


The weekends are great, I don’t have to worry about getting up and making breakfast. That’s a “blue” job (yes, we have blue/pink jobs… it’s a joke, don’t accost me on my own blog). He gets up, makes some sort of amazing breakfast involving eggs, and I snuggle with the kids while he does it. Or I drink my coffee and watch Paw Patrol. Whatever.


The weekdays, however, can sometimes be a bit of a struggle for me. During LoseIt (and since) the rule was: Eat within 30 minutes of getting up. The why for that is simple: to get that metabolism moving first thing in the morning. It makes total sense to me; you’ve been sleeping all night, your metabolism is slowed down, you gotta do something to jump start it in the morning. But that doesn’t mean I am fully functional and ready to use a stove/oven that early in the morning.


Enter: Overnight oats into my life. I must admit, I was skeptical to try them at first. I mean… I LOVE oatmeal, don’t get me wrong. I cannot eat it all the time, but when I do eat it, I LOVE it. I shy away from packaged oats with all their fake flavors and sugars, and opt instead for some yummy old fashioned rolled oats, or the steel cut variety. I like my oats with a splash of almond milk, a drizzle of real maple syrup (seriously a very small drizzle), loads of fresh fruit (think bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, peaches, whatever I happen to have on hand), and some almonds. OMG SO YUM. But it takes a stove to make all that nonsense, because who wants to eat their oats cold? You do. Trust me.


Overnight oats are just that… oats that you put in the fridge overnight in a cute little mason jar like you see on Pinterest, or in a boring old container with a lid. They’re soaked with a few other things, and in the morning you open, top, and devour. And trust me when I say you WILL devour them. They’re thick (or thin if you add more milk to them in the morning), they’re tasty, and they’re SO filling. I eat them, and am going strong until lunch. They’re perfect for you working moms and dads who LITERALLY don’t have time to make breakfast in the morning, or you night owls who love to stay up late and are rushed to get out the door in the morning.


So, in the spirit of sharing is caring (because that’s what we do in this space): I give you… Peanut Butter Overnight Oats. Oh yes, we did. This morning I added strawberries, blueberries, almonds, and a little bit of almond milk to it and I KID YOU NOT, PEOPLE…. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY OATMEAL. Holy freaking delicious. It would be KILLER with some cocoa powder and chocolate chips too. OMG. Ahem. Sorry.


Here you go! If you’ve never tried overnight oats before, I suggest this recipe. It’s perfect.


1/2 c almond milk

3/4 Tbsp chia seeds

2 Tbsp natural peanut butter (you know, the kind that’s just peanuts) or almond butter

1 Tbsp real maple syrup (you could leave this out if you wanted)

1/2 c rolled oats


In the bottom of a mason jar (or a container with a lid), mix almond milk, chia seeds, peanut butter and syrup. You don’t HAVE to mix the peanut butter completely in, if you don’t, it leaves these little pockets of peanutty goodness to enjoy. Add oats and stir again, then use the back of the spoon to push down oats and make sure they are covered with the milk. Close up tight, put in the fridge for at least 6 hours… but 12-24 is best.


Top with whatever you’d like: bananas, strawberries, almonds, chocolate chips (yeah, I’m doin this next time… probably not, but SOMEONE PLEASE), whatever you want.



You’re welcome.




Balance and Control

Hello, my name is Meghann. And I am a fitness addict.


Let’s talk fitness addiction for a minute.


I know what you’re thinking; “How could being addicted to something healthy EVER be a bad thing?” And you’d be partially correct in you’re thinking, because being addicted to something healthy is better than something that’s not. HOWEVER.


Over training becomes a thing. Injuries, irritability, headaches, emotional sensitivity…. these are ALL signs of over training. And aside from the injuries part, are all also things that I experience when I’m stressed out, which I may or may not be right now (read: my mother is coming to visit in seven days, my test is in nine, and we are property sitting right now). So sometimes it’s REALLY hard to determine if a workout will help me or hurt me.


I was unable to make a class last night. And at first, I was REALLY upset by the prospect of not getting my workout in (sign #1 that I’m addicted). Like, on the verge of a panic because I didn’t get the chance to go to that class last week either (though that was my own personal decision, not out of my control), and I really like that class (OMG I LIKE ALL OF THEM). AND, I didn’t do a whole heck of a lot fitness wise on Sunday. So I was itching to get back to getting my sweat (and socialization with persons over the age of 10) on (sign #2 that I’m addicted). So I started thinking about all the things that I could do this week to make up for missing that class (sign #3 that I’m addicted), and I decided that I would skip taking the kid to Striders this week and put in my miles that I need to be doing because HELLO HALF MARATHON IN OCTOBER (sign #4 that I’m addicted). So…. crisis averted. Good thinking, self. Also, I probably could use a day of rest. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh.


All joking aside, I do have to be very careful. I am still working toward some goals, and am feeling stalled because my body is now USED to going at this rate. Four to five classes a week, two runs a week, and volleyball has been really good for me. It’s kept me sane, and less stressed, and very productive, but MOST important is all the FUN I’ve been having. I am a better mother, and wife, because of the commitment I have made to myself. I need to carefully consider upping my workouts to two-a-days some days, and also need to balance that with resting. Lifting heavier, eating cleaner, but making sure I’m fueling my body properly for running long distances. All while balancing home and soon (hopefully) a career.


I have to make sure I’m not over training. I have to make sure that the addiction stays under control. Like any other addiction, it’s important to have balance and control. Because the minute you don’t… it takes over. And while fitness is a good thing, and health is important, there is such a thing as too much. And too much of even a good thing can be dangerous.


It’s not going to kill me to miss ONE class this week. I am committed to 9 miles tonight (holy wow, I haven’t gone that far in a while… oops). And workouts the rest of the week… I will begin planning my two-a-days VERY carefully, and making sure WATER is being consumed (I AM SO BAD ABOUT THAT), food is on point, and stress is manageable. I will keep the balance in my home, and in my life, and I will rest… maybe… okay, I WILL REST (guys, it’s so hard). I will have balance and control, and remember WHY I started this whole process.


And when I miss a class… I will not eat ice cream. Because it is NOT the end of the world.


I didn’t. That was a joke. I WANTED to, but I didn’t.