There’s been this song on the radio. Nothing that you would have listened to, but it’s on one of those Top 100 hit stations… It’s called “See You Again” and it’s by this rapper guy…
Anyway. It’s a tribute to an actor that died this last year, in a horrible car accident. He was pretty popular, so they play it all the time. Like… ALL the time. And every single time, I cry. It reminds me of you. And not because it’s something you would have listened to, because it’s not. Not because it’s something you would have even liked, because it’s SO not. But because of a few of the lyrics.
The chorus goes like this:
“It’s been a long day without you my friend.
And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.
We’ve come a long way from where we began
Oh I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.”
And OMG the tears. They just start coming, and they don’t stop. It’s so surreal still. Like, I called grandma the other day and half expected you to pick up the phone (because she took FOREVER to answer). It’s weird. I don’t know if I’m still in denial or what. I do know that I don’t do goodbye very well. And I feel like the worst, for me, is yet to come.
The kids are doing great. Oliver misses Colorado (which *I* think is awesome) and can’t wait to get back to see everyone in July. Daryl is looking forward to it, too. I can’t wait to get back home. I feel an incredible amount of guilt that I’m not there to help take care of grandma.
This is so hard. All of this. I find myself still breaking down from time to time. Mostly I’m okay. I just miss you. And there are things every day that remind me of you. If they’d just stop playing that song every hour I think I would be a little bit better. I miss you. I love you. I think about you all the time. ❤