I know, I always go away for a few months only to come back and apologize for being gone for so long. Truth is, I’m not sorry this time. I needed those posts to stay up there for a few months so I could figure shit out. I needed people to see that my life isn’t all happy kids, a happy mom who runs, and a husband who does good stuff most of the time. Life is HARD, people. I don’t know if you’ve figured that out yet, but it just is.
It’s a new year, and a lot has happened, and I’m feeling really good. So, it’s time to put up a new post!
For those new to the party… I AM PREGNANT!!!! Yay (mostly)!!! Currently I am 16 weeks, 1 day pregnant and trucking right along. I was terrified the first few months, and to be honest, didn’t really even suspect that I actually WAS pregnant until about 5 days after I SHOULD have realized. Oops. There was just a lot going on at my house during that time. Anywho, the first few months were torture for me. Worrying all the time about whether or not I was going to miscarry again, wondering if things were just going to “work themselves out” around here. It was pretty stressful. But I have passed into my second trimester, and hopefully at this appointment this week, my awesome midwives will tell me everything is super awesomesauce.
The fear is still there. I will admit it. On days like today when I’m feeling pretty decent, and I have a lot of energy, and I am not completely exhausted…. I feel almost normal. So I freak out a little, then remember that I’m SUPPOSED to feel better than I did, and I relax. That doesn’t mean I’m completely out of the woods, but it sure would be nice to live with an ultrasound tech or something. 😉
Christmas was amazeballs. Kid got spoiled, we got stuff, we hung out with the in-laws. It was good. We made cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, had a nice dinner, and just spent “Little Family” alone time. No cousins running around wrestling, no weird tension, not a ton of noise…. it was perfect. A new tradition, and some much needed “alone” time for us.
Things are just there. I’m trying to take things day by day, minute by minute. Sometimes I cry, but mostly I’m just trying to get back to the business of being ME. I’m excited for Bean to get here… even if it is a ways away. I’m excited to see The Kiddo as a big brother. He’s gonna be amazing. I’m actually really excited for what this year will bring me and my little family. I think we’re gonna be okay. 😉